Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Anonymous said: I haven't ever really squirted before but I'm soo curious about it. When I masturbate a lot of the time I will clench my kegel muscles like I'm holding in pee and that makes my orgasms a lot stronger. When I'm trying to squirt should I be doing the opposite? Pushing that muscle like I'm trying to pee? And one question that might be really silly but this is coming out of my uretha, right? The same place I am peeing from?

Yes, push and expel!

The source of the liquid is ~up for debate~ according to Wikipedia.

Anonymous said: How can I make myself squirt?

Try this!

http://dearvulva.tumblr.com/post/4963018814/how-to-find-your-g-spot-and-achieve-female

Anonymous said: i'm straight but i really don't trust men in general, and i feel like it's holding me back from finding a relationship. any thoughts?

I would suggest making an appointment with a counselor or therapist in your area to discuss this! 

Anonymous said: for /most/ people it isn't. I don't know where you might be where fwb is a common thing or you can just casually ask a friend if they want to fuck without blowing the friendship apart, but it's definitely a special place

Okay. So sorry I’ve offended you on this friends with benefits issue. I guess I’ve watched too many episodes of Friends or Seinfeld or had my own personal experiences and a different life or something like that. Good night!

Anonymous said: sometimes it seems in your advice like having a FWB is an easy and common thing to happen, and it's definitely not

For some people it is, for some people it isn’t. That’s why masturbation is important! And that’s not saying at all that masturbation is a back-up, because I can just about guarantee that you will learn more about yourself and your body by masturbating than you will with rando adolescent hookups. 

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Anonymous said: I orgasm way too fast. I've tried various methods to try and not come so fast but nothing has been working. Within 2-3 minutes I'm done and I don't feel like going for another one afterwards.

You know, that’s a problem some people wish they have! Perspective, perspective. Although, to you, it’s annoying, understandably. Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes and all of that. The grass is always greener. Life is just a paradox!!

But, I would say, go slower, in every way. Spend five minutes just rubbing your nipples and thinking sexy thoughts. Spend more time touching your neck, ooh, that feels good. When you finally make your way past your soft and smooth sides and after you’ve caressed your inner thighs for a few glorious moments, spend some time massaging your vulva. Don’t go right to your clit, just feel your nice soft labia, tease the opening of your vagina, feel yourself in a way you, perhaps, you have never before. Then when you finally work your way to your clit, don’t rub it quickly, just softly stroke it, back and forth, around and around, unit you can begin to feel your orgasm build. Instead of rushing to the end, feel, own and enjoy that build. Just take it slow and be purposeful. Connect. Renew. Faith. Welcome. Joy. Laugh. Water. Plant. Pencil. Fork. Lasagna. Ah. You are whole. You have cum. Seventy four hours have passed and you have seventeen voicemails from your boss asking why you’ve missed three shifts.

Namaste. 

Anonymous said: I'm not a virgin but I've only had sex once, and it's been a while and now I'm scared to do it again! I feel as though it will be awkward and that i'll be rubbish. like i don't really know what to do during sex??? help?

Well to make sure it’s not awkward, first make sure that your next sexual partner is someone you trust and want to have sex with! Everyone can feel insecure, but you’re probably not rubbish, you’re just nervous, which is totally normal! This is when having a Doing It Partner you like and trust is going to come in handy: he or she or they or them with laugh and experiment with you to find out what works best, and he or she or they or them will assure you that you’re not rubbish and he or she or they or them will probably worried about being rubbish too, and you’ll be like, “Are you kidding? This is so non-awkward and so consensual and sexy and fun! Let’s do this all the time!” 

So I really wouldn’t worry about it! 

Anonymous said: So I bought some lube, because I want to have vagina fun and I'm too tight for anything so far. But when I apply it, it BURNS. It's water based and doesn't have any red flag stuff in it. What's wrong? Should I get something else? Is there live for the super sensitive vag? Thanks

If it burns or hurts in any way, stop using it! It sounds like you’re allergic to one of the ingredients in your lube, so I would suggest going to your local sex-positive feminist toy store and talking with one of the nice workers about which lube has the least chemicals and is the best for super sensitive vags. If you’re still having problems, the next step if you’re gynecologist! 

Anonymous said: Why can't I enjoy sex for more than a few minutes before feeling awkward I feel disconnected when with a partner and especially When I am alone I can't seen to have an orgasm no matter what I do

Sex can we weird! Make sure you’re Doing It with some you like and trust and want to be having sex with. When you’re alone, make sure you’re in the mood and go out of the way to make your self more comfortable. Play your favorite album, buy a special candle to light…make it special and not a chore. If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?

Anonymous said: i've noticed recently that the buildup/moments before my orgasm are more pleasurable than my actual orgasm; i'm assuming because of the pressure. is this normal and can it happen to any other girls?

Normal! Why not try to recapture that build up a couple times before you do orgasm. Touch yourself until you almost get there…and then stop. Wait a moment and repeat. Do this as many times as you can stand, and then finally masturbate to orgasm. That should intensify your final release!